What is Parallel Play?

Want to know why toddlers and yound kids often play next to each other but not with each other? Read on to find out why…

Zak and Eli are standing side by side playing with toy cars. However, they are not talking or interacting with each other much, but every so often Zak will have a look at James and vice versa.

Parallel play as it’s often called is part of a continuous process in the development of any toddler. Zak and James have already gone through the stages of being the observing onlooker play to playing alone between the ages of 8 months up until around 2. At around the age of 2 or 3, parallel play might not look very different from playing alone, but it is in fact quite different due simply to the fact that parallel play relies upon the presence of another kid who would otherwise be a play partner. It is this seemingly anti social aspect that is cause for concern for many parents.

Child psychologists traditionally thought that toddlers who could play with others) would no longer engage in parallel play. However, recent findings seem to cast doubt on what was once conventional wisdom.

Dr. Clyde Robinson is a professor of human development at Brigham Young University in Utah, found out several years ago that toddlers often use parallel play as a means of easing gently  into a new group. Suppose some toddlers are making a racing car out of blocks when a new little boy or girl wants to join in. Firstly they will observe the group of other toddlers in action. Then they are likely to pick up some building blocks but hold back from direct interaction even though they are keeping an eye on the other toddlers. It is at this stage that the new kid draws a few pertinent conclusions that will determine their next step. If the other toddlers look friendly and willing to accept then the new kid will most likely make the switch from parallel to playing as part of a group.

When you think about it what our toddlers do is really not so different to what adults might do when they find themselves in a new environment having to establish themselves and find a place. Imagine yourself in a new job where you don’t know anybody. It very often takes a positive signal from somebody already in the ‘in group’ that allows you to break the ice and get to know other new people. It might not be building blocks, but it could be something like being invited over to eat lunch on the same table as others in the staff cafeteria.

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