Second Baby?

Some of the things you might want to keep away from your first born when you are pregnant are morning sickness and mood swings. If your first born is a year old or a little older, it is very important for them to feel that they are still mommy’s #1.

Some of the things that you need to prepare for are:
Let your first born know that he/she will be having a baby sister or brother.
When you are throwing up, do not ask your first born to go away, instead, tell him/her that you are okay. It is only natural for them to worry. It will build a sense of trust and security between you two.
Let your first born be a part of preparing the baby’s room.
Prepare your child to share his/her toys with the baby. Make them look forward to sharing by saying things like “your baby sister or brother will be so happy that you gave him/her this toy” or “you are such a good brother or sister”.

Why should you keep morning sickness away from them? First, they are still bonding with you and when they see you sick, they will be frightened. It is not good for your child to be attached to you through fear. This will increase separation anxiety. Why? Your child is still bonding with you and building their security and when they see you sick and in pain, their natural tendency is to be afraid. Why is this bad? At this age they think and feel more than you know even though they may not be able to bring it out in words. These feelings will take a place in their subconscious mind and they will associate that feeling when you have to leave the house, etc. That is why it is important to keep the morning sickness away from them. If you do not have any help, like me, talk to them and tell them that “mommy is okay”. When they come and stand by you crying because they are afraid that something is wrong with you, do not tell them “go away to another room”, instead give them a hug and assure them that everything is okay.
Second, the reason I ask to keep your mood swings away from your child is because they feel that a lot is going on in the family. At this age, they will also wonder if it is because of them, so keep your moodiness and irritation away from your child. When your partner gets home, take a break and go for a walk, get some pampering or whatever will relax you.

Spend time with your child talking about the baby that will be coming soon. My son was sixteen months when I got pregnant with my daughter. I made him a part of her development. He helped me get the room ready. He chose the paint and the curtains, etc. He was proud that he was going to be a big brother. Although he was only 20 months old when we decorated my daughter’s room, he was emotionally mature and did not feel threatened by another baby coming into our family.

Sometimes you do need patience with the babies. If you feel like you are about to loose it, remember they are not going to be babies for very long, so enjoy them. Kids and babies respond to love and kindness better than they respond to anger and punishment.

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